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How come no promoters want to book Fabio Gurgel in their venues?

Identity Theft His real name is Bizzaro

What does Ricardo Arona do at restaraunts after he looses fights?

Dining and Whining

What did the promoters at UFC say to Tim Sylvia before his fight with Andrei Arlovski?

Break A Leg

Where does Fedor sit when he goes to watch a fight?

anywhere he wants.

What was Twinkle Toes favorite class in school?

Trigg.

Why does BJ Penn train with Team Quest?

Because co-founders Couture and Lindland got him a discount at the Hair Club for Men

What did the TUF coaches say to Luke Cummo when they had no choice but to pick him?

Alright nerd, Cummo ver here

What does Brad Imes eat as a part of his diet?

Iams dog food for puppies

What do you get if you cross Ken Shamrock with Wes Simms?

The "World's most dangerous Can".

What do you get if you cross Tank Abbot with Genki Sudo?

"We are all Done".

What do you get if you cross Willa Ford with Tank Abbot?

A car with a tank that always runs out of gas.

Quinten Rampage Jackson Humour

"Well the weird thing about me is that I grew up fighting and one of my friends introduced me to it (MMA) and I was like, 'Whoa, you mean I can beat up white dudes and not go to jail?'"

After beating Chuck Liddell for the UFC title:
"You can make a mistake and get caught in a submission, but Chuck made a mistake and he got caught in an ass whoopin'."

"I'm gonna put rims on my car, my scooter, my shoes and my everything."
"The drinks are on the house if you get somebody to buy you one."

On the new UFC video game:
"I never get black eyes ... because I am black."

On his style of fighting:
"My style is 'whoop that ass.'"

Pride: "If you look into a crystal ball, what do you see in your future?
Rampage: "I don't have a crystal ball, I only have 2 balls."

On what impresses him most about Chuck:
"His Mohawk. I'm impressed with how he keeps his Mohawk looking like that every time I see him. I'm really impressed with that. I wonder if he cuts it himself, if he has a barber or does he have a stencil thing he puts on his head so he doesn't mess it up? Chuck keeps that Mohawk looking like that all the time."

On his fighting philosophy:
"When someone tries to force themselves upon you, you have to impose yourself upon them. And doing so, you whooping they ass."

Quadros: "Rampage, where do you see yourself in 2 years."
Rampage: "Well, right nwo i'm 23, so in two years, I see myself 25."

Interviewer: "Chuck said in his pre-fight interview it's gonna be a first round knockout. What do you have to say about that? First round knockout?"
Rampage:
"If he plans on getting knocked out in the first round thats his business."

"when I win the pride belt, I'm going to do everything with the pride belt. when I'm playing video games, I will play with the Pride belt. when I'm taking a sh*t, I am gonna take it with the Pride belt. when I'm f*cking, Im gonna f*ck with the Pride belt"

"When I beat wanderlei i'm a take his belt pull his pants down and spank him for bein so ugly"

"Rampage on Wanderlei Silva: "Monkey looking mutha*****er, Congo, ugh me good gorilla Have you ever gotten your ass kicked by a black man before It *****ing hurts."

"I love Marvin (Eastman), he's like a brother to me. But right now, it's time for black on black crime."